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October 29 What Am I and What Have I Become?This is a sad girl's tale: A girl named Well lets just call her a Girl, for now. If she were to write, this is what she would write.
I have been broken beyond repair now. Like I wont ever heal again and the best I can do is go with the pieces that are left and make them work. Like a machine that should have died out but still sputters but it's all wrong. It's all wrong.
Because I am not special. I am not that good. The flaw in me was always wanting too much. Wanting it all. Because now I know. The flaw in me means I get nothing. Means I get to live with the biggest, the only compromise of my life. I get to write about the only thing, over and over, every single day of my life knowing I have no right to have it. If I had been inventive, even I couldn't have ever, EVER devised this form of punishment for me. And the worst of it is, that I have to live. the parts of me have to be put together again. And I have to work. Broken toy train running on the wrong track.
I think, I think I damnned me, I just damned me to death without life. At least I wont be torn apart anywhere. That's some consolation. TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://sawyerzbeauty.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!F1AA7AF418AAE668!169.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
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