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July 27 Who Put the Weight of the World On My SHoulders...I wanted to save the world. The goddamn world. The world that i naively thought needed not only to be saved but also to be better until all there was left was goodness and the world i had created. The world that held work and passion dearer than anything else, that asked ridiculous sacrfices to be made not in the name of love, country, politics or religion but work.
Doing the thing you love.
and i was pretty sure the best way to do this was to become a war correspondent and go to war zones and show people that someone cared enough for it all to be better again. That someone was willing to go there and report the events to the world so that they can see the horrors of it and somehow,someway, find a way to NOT do it. TO STOP hurting each other. to stop wanting to kill each other for whatever cause is held dear by the people who do.
And then i figured, what the hell? The world doesnt need saving. Its going to hell, anyway and nothing i do will ever make a difference, because nothing cant. Because people dont want to be saved. They want to die, they want to belive that their god, their religion, their country is more powerful than all the rest. That that gives them the right to commit mayhem. and i realized, as long as people are there, there will be war. The world will go to pieces and that anything i say or do will be futile.
So, i gave it up. I decided that the world couldnt be saved. Not by anybody. Not by me.
Certainly not by me.
But today, when i am on the way to doing all the things i love, the ghosts of my own passion are coming back to haunt me. I want to save the world. for the children who are yet to be born. for the kids who havent seen a better world, more peaceful world. For the parents who have worked so hard so that thier children are safe. For all the people who have lost someone because of a cause.
There is no right or wrong. There never is. But please, please, why cant people see that? Why cant they see that the world is not supposed to go to hell? That its worth saving. And that i would. I would.
If only i knew how. Comments (1)
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