I wanna start this blog with a line that came into my head while i was sleeping.

"The restless never sleep and sleep comes to the restless..."

For a long time, i have felt restless. Restless in dreams. In thoughts. In actions. Definitely restless everyday that I lived a life I thought I didnt want. A life where I couldn't get enough of the whinies and where i dreamed that breaking away and running away would solve all the problems that plagued me. Well, seven seas and several timezones later it is still the same.

The restlessness remains. The fear and the hunger for knowledge still plague me. I wish I knew what I dont know and didnt know half the things I do. Like how easy it is to let doubt your own goals. How difficult it is to trust someone to not hurt you just because they love you.

How lonely it could be to love someone...anyone. And the only thing worse than that is to love the idea of someone. To be in love with love.

And i wonder again, why does everything that has any real connection to me has to be connected to love. I am not a very emotive person. I dont coo at babies in prams. I dont tell my close friends how much they mean to me and i generally pretend that nothing in the world affects me.

I cant stand failure. and i cant stand rejection. And i guess I have experienced both, have doled out both. in equal parts. And since i write about it continuously, everyday ,makes it a huge part of me. But i dont want to go into what makes me tick as a writer.

Right now, I want to ask this. Is anyone out there? Who can read a line like mine and understand what exactly goes into the restless roving spirit. Whether love des rescue us from ourselves, or whether we find newer problems in it.

Its a question, which i guess...shouldnt be answered. It would violate my own rules of knowledge and the un-knowing!